Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Funny For The Day......Computer Skills

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
> > Customer: A white one.
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
> > Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
> > Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
> > Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
> > Customer: No, wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet. it's still on my
> > desk. Sorry.
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
> > Customer: Your left or my left?
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
> > Male customer: Hello. I can't print.
> > Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and....
> > Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
> > Gates.
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
> > try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed
> > it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.
> >
> > ==============
> > Customer: I have problems printing in red.
> > Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
> > Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
> > Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
> > Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
> > Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
> > Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
> > Customer: OK.
> > Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
> > Customer: Yes
> > Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
> > keyboard?
> > Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah that one does work.
> > =============
> >
> > Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital
> > letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
> > Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
> > Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
> > Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
> > Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
> > Customer: Five dots.
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Tech support: What antivirus program do you use?
> > Customer: Netscape.
> > Tech support: That's not an antivirus program.
> > Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
> > computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > Tech support: How may I help you?
> > Customer: I'm writing my first email.
> > Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
> > Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
> > little circle around it?
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
> > printer.
> > Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
> > Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The
> > man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer
> > is
> > working fine.'
> >
> > ===============
> >
> > And last but not least...
> >
> > Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
> > same
> > time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
> > letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
> > Customer: I don't have a P.
> > Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
> > Customer: What do you mean?
> > Tech support: 'P' on your keyboard, Bob.
> > Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

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