Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Funny For The Day...............Man Fall Down.

The front of our house has a large picture window and I had the drapes open because it a beautiful day out.  A man about in his 30s was walking his dog past the house.  The man stopped to talk with another man passing him.  The dog was on a very short leash and he had to do his poop business.  Since the dog could not reach the grass he pooped right there on the sidewalk.   The two men were busy talking so they did not see what the dog was doing and now what the dog had done.  After awhile when the men got done talking the man with the dog turned around so they could continue on there walk.  Since the man with the dog did not see what the dog had done he turned and stepped right into the poop.  He slipped and when he did the dog pulled and down the man went.  Yes that is right,  landing right in the poop.  I was laughing so hard I almost peed in my pants.  Normally I would have said to the man do you think you could pickup the present the dog left but in this case I think justice was served.  

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Funny For The Day..........Get off your cell phone

One of my biggest pet peeves is people on their cellphones.  It is like they will die if that stupid thing is not glued to their ear.

Today at work my co-worker asked if I would give her a ride home after work.  She lives pretty far from work and it was very hot out and she really did not want to walk.  I said sure no problem.  We walked out of the door from work and she immediately got on her cellphone.  We got into the car and I started the car.  She was busy talking and talking and talking on that cellphone.  I figured I was just going to sit there until she figured out why we were not moving.  After about 5 minutes the lightbulb went off in her head.  She looked at me as if to say why are we not moving then it was like OH....I didn't tell you where I lived.  She finally did tell me and she kept right on talking on the cellphone.   It did give me a good laugh and a new story to tell.

The Fuuny For The Day.....Mr Bill My Father In Law Ghost Story His Teeth

If you read my previous blog you found out that my husbands father is deceased and now a ghost.  If you didn't read it you should as it will give you insight into this story.  My father in law never met my daughter but that never stopped him in the after life from pranking her.   My stories are true.

My father in law had false teeth and when my husband and his brothers and sisters were little he loved to wait until the lights were all out and the kids were in bed he would tip toe into the room and with a flashlight under his chin make this real scary face.  His mouth would be open and when the kids would scream he would click his upper false teeth and they would drop down into his mouth.  It would make the kids scream even louder and run from pure fright.  It was a scary horrible sight to see.  When the grand kids started coming he would play that prank on them and of course get the same reaction.  By the time my daughter was born Mr Bill was already deceased so she never got to see his teeth trick.  When daughter was in grade school she was digging around in my closet and something fell off the top shelf and hit her in the head and landed on the floor.  When she looked at it she screamed and went running out of the bedroom.  What was on the floor was small plastic box which had opened up and laying there next to the box on the carpet was her grandfathers teeth.  Her father and I had a good laugh.  Of course she is like gross mom how come you have grandpa Bill's teeth and what are they doing in the closet.  Don't worry Mr Bill was buried with his teeth.  This was a spare set of teeth.  What they were doing in the bedroom closet I do not know.  He had been dead about 12 years now and when he passed we weren't even living in this house.  All of his things were packed up and gone along time ago.  As I had stated before even in death her grandfather was not going to let a little thing like being dead stop him from playing a prank on his granddaughter.

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Funny For The Day..............My father In Law Mr Bill is now a ghost

After my last post about the worst show ever Haunted Collector I have decided to share some of my own Ghost Stories.  My stories are all true.  The year is 1981 and my father in law Mr Bill was dying of cancer.  He was living with us and my husband took care of him during the final months.  We were living in a 2 bedroom apartment at the time.  He was too weak to walk to the bathroom etc so whenever he needed something especially when we were sleeping was to take his cane and bang it on the wall.  Now my husband and his father were very very close.  Everyone always said that the umbilical cord ran from father to son instead of mother to son.  My father in law did pass in December of 1981.  After he passed for the next year and a half that we lived in the apt strange things would happen.  Lamps would turn on by themselves etc and one of my favorite things was my father in law smoked (no he did not have cancer from smoking) and when he was alive just to irate me he would put ashes in the bathroom sink.  So from time to time there were those darn ashes in the sink.  But the part that I did not like that really upset me was,  I would wake up in the middle of the night hearing him banging on the wall with his cane.  No it was not my imagination.   One day my neighbor stopped me in the hall and asked what are you doing banging on the wall in the middle of the night.  It was then I knew I could not take it anymore so we moved into a house.  Nine months later we welcomed our beautiful baby girl Jessica.  Now things started to act up again.  As close as my husband and his dad were we knew he had to come see his granddaughter.  The shades would go up or the front door that was locked and bolted would just open right up.  We would just say hi Bill.  On Jessica's 1st birthday when all of my husbands brothers and sisters were over it happend.  They freaked out but we told them just say hi.  Bill is here visiting.  Jessica talked very early and one day she just stood in the hall and said HI and started laughing and playing and running around with someone.  We figured it was Bill but we were unsure at the time.  It happened quite frequently.  They would play for a while and then she would say bye and it was over.  I asked her who are you talking too and she replied "the man with the horse".  I was like the man with a horse?  When I told my husband he just laughed...it turns out when my husband was a kid they had a old blind horse that my father in law just loved.  So now we know my father in law and his horse are together again and in my livingroom.  Thank goodness this a ghost horse.  Now Jessica never met her grandfather nor did we have any pictures out anywhere of him.  One day Jessica was looking through the wedding album and she said Grandpa pointing to his picture in our wedding album.  I was shocked and I asked her is that the man with the horse and she said yes.  Now we know for sure he is the one she is playing with.  His visits became less.  He only visited on special occasions or holidays.  Jessica was almost 2 now and one day she was playing with him in the kitchen and she started crying and yelling NO don't go.  I asked what was wrong and she explained he was a sad man and I asked why is he a sad man and she said because he has to go now.  I asked where is he going and she pointed up (I presume he was now going to heaven).  It was his time to go now.  She just stood there and cried and cried.  He was now gone and the activity stopped.  The story does not end there.  When Jessica was 2 we moved into a new home.  The activity in the house started again but Jessica never did see him again.  Lights turn on by themselves and the ashes appear in the sink.  Husband and I take a vacation Jessica is now over 18 so she stays home and while we were gone the activity in the house was really strong.  She was upset but she knew who it was.  One day husband and I were having a argument and the living room light turned on all by itself.  He yells pa knock it off, turn off the light and sure enough the light turned off.  Jessica is now grown and married and the activity in our house has stopped.  But never fear grandpa followed her to her new house where the activity is still happening.  He is not around much anymore since she is grown but when she has children I am sure grandpa will have to meet his great grandchildren.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

TV Show Reviews................Haunted Collector is the WORST tv show

I love Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures etc but the new show Haunted Collector has to be the worst tv show ever about paranormal activity.  The host John is so dull and his dialogue is so predictable I could just scream.  The home owners in the show are  fake and they pretend to look scared about whatever object that is the home that is causing the paranormal activity.  As they plead Just Get It Out Of Here.   You can tell the show is staged and scripted.  It is a joke.  I sat through the first 2 episodes wanting to pull my hair out and last nights show I finally had enough and turned the show off.  If you are going to have a show like this at least pick a host with some carisma and not have the show so .....there is no other way to put it except the show really really stinks and it is horrible.   This is a show I will not be watching.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Funny For The Day................Strange

Today I went to the gas station and after I got done filling my tank my receipt came out.  I looked at it and it was really weird looking.  It has all of these letters and figures on it.  Percents, degrees, temperature, stats etc.  I finally decided to take it inside the station.  I said to the man I bet you I am the only person that will ever ask you this....I said do you need this?  He looked at it and said YES...it was the readout from the gas tanks.  It was telling him how much gas was left in each tank, the pressure in the tanks,  the rate it dispensed the gas and so on.  He did give me a proper receipt and thanked me for giving it to him and said yes you are right you are the only peson that has ever said that to me.  Only me, but it was funny to see.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

My dad and his white socks

On this Fathers Day I will tell you a funny story about my dad.  On Sundays when we would go to church all dressed up and daddy in his new black suit he would put on white socks with that black suit.  It made my mother so mad.  She tried to hide those darn white socks but every Sunday he would find them and put them on.  One day mother got made and threw out all of his white socks.  He was then forced to wear the black socks.  It turns out my dad did not know the socks were white he just knew they were his favorite socks to wear with the black suit.  We found out my dad was color blind and didn't know the white from the black.  When I was cleaning out the attic at my parents house a couple of years ago I found the box with the white socks in it.  Yes I still have that box.  Those white socks really make me laugh.

My dad was a great father

Fathers Day is a special day.  A day to sit back and reflect on our fathers.  I wish I had more memories of my dad.  As most of all of you know my dad died when he was only 49 and I was 14.  He was a good father and a hard worker.  He never graduated from high school because he had to drop out and take care of his dying father.  Yet that did not stop him.  He did go on and become a 1st class boilerman engineer something he was so very proud of.  He was in charge of the boilers for many schools in the Racine Unified school system.  One of the schools he was in charge of had a large gang population.  The school was consistently getting all of the windows broken out of due to vandalism and the grafitti was horrible.  My dad knew something had to be done and the boys doing the vanalism needed guidance.  So he got all of the boys in the gang together along with the leader of the gang.  You know to this day I still remember that kids name.  I won't say it just in case he has turned his life around and doesn't want to be remembered by who he use to be.  My dad became friends with him.  My dad could make friends with anyone.  So my dad ended up giving each one of those boys a job working at the school with him.  Nothing exciting like cleaning the halls of the school with those big floor cleaning machines etc.  Taking them to a ball game.  He became like their second father or the father they did not have.  Within a very short period of time the vandalism in the school stopped.  Those boys could not wait until my father showed up for work just so they could help him out.  When I got into junior high the leader of the gang heard my last name and he asked if I knew John.  I said yes and all he could do was rave about what a great guy my dad was but I already knew that.  When my dad died in my last year of junior high all of those boys came to the funeral.  That young man did graduate from high school.  He was in my graduation class.  Where he is now I do not know, but what I do know is my dad had a lot to do with him graduating instead of ending up in a reform school.  I don't have many memories but what I do have are good memories.  So to you father I say  Happy Fathers Day.  I wish I had more years with you than I had.    It has been 43 years since the last Fathers Day we spent together and I don't care what anybody says it still hurts not to have you here with me on this day.  I miss you a lot.  Your little girl.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Jeanne Bice died June 10, 2011

Today I don't have a funny story to tell.  I love Quacker Factory clothes and the head quack herself Jeanne Bice died yesterday June 10, 2011.  It is a sad day.  I never met Jeanne but I feel like I knew her.  She was funny and a great inspiration to all of us.  If you are a Quacker you know what I mean.  For all of us Quackers we lost a little bit of each of us today.  Everytime we put on a piece of her clothing we will think of her.  So Jeanne until we meet again....Quack Quack.  Thank you for the time we had with you.

Friday, June 10, 2011

My Taco Bell Mexican Pizza was Rancid

The other day I had my usual craving for Taco Bell.  I love Taco Bell.  I went through the drive thru and ordered the Mexican Pizza with sour cream.  When I got home and took my first bite it tasted funny so I took a few more bites then I quickly realized my food was bad.  It was rancid.  If you ever have had food that was rancid you know what I am talking about.  I decided to figure out what part of the pizza was bad.  I tasted each part separately.  First the meat, ok.  The cheese, ok. Sour cream, ok and so on.  The last part to taste was the crispy shell...oh my gosh the shell was so rancid.  I sat there for a minute and decided I had to call Taco Bell to tell them not to serve anymore of those shells.  Of course either they took the phone off the hook or someone was a real long talker.  Now I am getting mad and oh yes the stomach cramps are setting in and you know where that is leading.  So I decided to get in my car and drive all the way back to Taco Bell with gas at $3.99 a gallon.  I explained to the manager at Taco Bell that there food was bad.  It was rancid.  Of course she thinks is all I want is a free taco for my trouble.  I was told that they just made the shells so they could not be bad.  Maybe you just made them but the oil they were made in is BAD.  You need to change the oil.  I tried to get it through her thick skull that I did not want another free mexican pizza or a free taco for my trouble I was trying to save them from making someone really sick and possibly getting sued.  Ok fine I will just take my $2.97 refund and go home.  Now I have decided I cannot let this rest so I call the Taco Bell headquarters and explain the problem.  Again the women I talked to thinks all I want is a free 89 cent taco.  Screw the free taco you need to fix your rancid food problem.  I am so upset I am going to call the health department.  I know I should have but I didn't.  Did anything get done about the problem, probably not.  But hey, I did get a coupon in the mail for a free 89 cent taco.  As stated earier I do love Taco Bell but I do not think I will ever eat there again.

Nancy's Recipe Box..... Chicken and rice casserole

I love Chicken and Rice and after many attempts I think I have finally found a winner.   This recipe is easy to make and I have several different changes you can make to make it a little different every time you make it.  You can also prepare it the day before and cover with tin foil the day ahead then when you get home from  busy day at work remove the foil and just pop it into the oven to cook.                 

                             
Ingredients:
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 cup of uncooked rice
4 large chicken skinless chicken breasts
1 small onion, diced
1/4 cup mayonnaise or mircle whip
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
1/4 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1/4 cup slivered almonds
1/2 cup melted butter
Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
In a large stockpot, bring some water to a boil and add some salt and pepper. Reduce the heat and stew the chicken pieces until tender and falling off the bone. Remove the meat and cut into chunks. Cook the rice in 2 cups of water and then set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, add chicken, rice, and cream of chicken soup and mix thoroughly. Add the onion, mayonnaise, lemon juice, and chicken broth and mix completely. Spread into a 9'' x 13'' baking dish.
Prior to baking, dust the top of the casserole with the bread crumbs and then evenly spread the almonds. Pour the melted butter over top and bake, uncovered, in a 325°F oven for 30 minutes until brown and bubbly. Serves 8 — 10.


Now if you refrigerate over night do not put the bread crumbs or almonds with the melted butter on top or else they will loose their crispness put them on when you get ready to bake it. 

The variations that I found that I like is to use chow mein noodles instead of bread crumbs (leave off the melted butter) and I put the almonds into the receipe.  If you do it that way you do put the almonds in when you prepare it.   I love almonds with chicken.

If you like you can always cut up in small pieces of cooked carrots and add into the mixture.  Using raw carrots the carrots will be el dente. 

I used skinless chicken breasts for a healthier recipe but you can use 4 large chicken pieces (white and dark) if you prefer.

Monday, June 6, 2011

My Grandfather the shoe designer

Good news everyone,  I got a job.  After 2.5 years home  with husband I decided I needed to get out into the world and see new people.  Husband can drive anyone crazy in 5 seconds flat.  I am now working at Sears in the shoe dept.  Yes I said the shoe dept.  I was doing the happy dance.   I mean how perfect is that for me.  First of all I love shoes.  What girl doesn't and second with my grandfather having so many patents for shoe designs and he made custom made shoes for people shoes are in my blood.   For all of you that don't know my grandfather owned several shoe factories in the 30s through the 60s until his death.  His patents came from what I can find out in the early 30s.  He designed and held the patents for the wedge shoe, athletic shoes, nurses shoes and the list goes on and on.  Most of all the shoes we wear today are based on his designs and patents.  The last time I looked Nike now owns the patents for the athletic shoes.  A couple of weeks ago  I was going through a box of old pictures that I didn't even knew I had.  I figure they all belonged to my grandmother.  I had a real treat when I found a stack of pictures of the shoes my grandfather designed.  He took pictures of every shoe he designed.  They aren't the best quality of pictures, but if you would like to see them I will post them.  So by now you are wondering why I am not rich beyond belief....well I will tell you.  I asked my mom that same question and her reply was, all of those patents didn't really mean a lot to my grandfather he figured people were always going to need shoes and he would just design new ones so he sold the patents.  Yes he sold all of the patents so Nike is rich and I am not.  In the end I was the only little 5 year old girl that had custom made red alligator mary jane shoes.  Until my gradfather died I wore custom made shoes.   I still have my shoe lasts.   So I am now going to carry on the family tradition and work in shoes.   It  was meant to be.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

June 6 1968 The flags are flying half staff for my dad

June 6 1968 is a special day for many reasons.  First you have D Day, the day Robert Kennedy died and it was the day my dad died.  When I was little every sunday on the way home from church we would go by the Eagles Club.  If someone had died they would always fly the flag at half staff.  To honor a prominent person that died during the year you can always find the flag flying half staff.  What is so special about it is my dad always said and he said it alot "when I die I want all the flags flying half staff for me".  My dad always kept his word and sure enough when he passed on June 6 1968 all of the flags around the country were flying half staff.   It is hard to believe it has been 43 years since that day but come tomarrow all of the flags will be flying half staff in remembrance of my dad. 

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Funny For The Day.........Stupid Women could have been killed

Today I went grocery shopping and after I put my groceries in the trunk I got in the car.  I turned the car on and put it in reverse.  Now as any good driver before I actually started to move I did a shoulder check.  Something caught my eye.  I now turned all the way around and around looking to see what it was.  But there was nothing.  So I sat for a second and then in my rear view mirror this woman popped up.  She stood there looking at what she found on the ground and then threw it away.  It turns out from what I can figure out  is as she was walking behind my car she spotted something on the ground and bent over to pick it up...hence disappearing from my view.  If I hadn't caught that little glimse of her when I did my shoulder check I would have backed over her.  People,  People,  People have some common sense here.  Don't bend down behind a car when someone is backing out.